AMERICA OR BUST.

So there's this story that's been getting a lot of attention lately:

Russian Band Imprisoned for 'Hooliganism'

"Three members of Russian female punk rock band Pussy Riot were sentenced to two years in prison Friday after they were found guilty of hooliganism for performing a song critical of President Vladimir Putin in a church." - CNN

First of all, the band's name is 'Pussy Riot.' That's pure gold. My theory is that they just wanted to get in trouble to get attention because their music sucks. And hey, good for them. Madonna was wearing their band's name on her back during a performance, and news anchors everywhere are going to be saying 'Pussy Riot' all day long (which is another great aspect of this story). 

And while my first reaction was to guffaw at this backward foreign country and scream "USA IS BETTER THAN EVERY COUNTRY EVER!!," I did a little more research and decided that these chicks actually do deserve to be punished. 

See, if you look at what the band actually did, it's pretty evident that they weren't simply arrested for, what CNN claims, "screaming, 'Mother Mary, please drive Putin away,' in a protest act in February inside Christ Savior Cathedral." They set up an entire drumset and electric guitar on the alter of the church and were screaming their shitty music while nuns and police officers were trying to ask them to leave. Yeah, I get it, that's the whole definition of a 'protest,' but this really isn't the freedom of speech issue that a lot celebrities are trying to turn it into. They were being disruptive and obnoxious on private property, and that's against the law. I'm sure they wouldn't have been arrested for performing this at a concert or even in a square out in the city, which is what a lot of people are assuming when they see these headlines.

 I think a big problem might be the retarded name for the offense - hooliganism - that is getting Americans all worked up. Maybe disturbing the peace or being a public nuisance or trespassing or resisting arrest might ring a little truer to our ears. I watched drunk black man get tasered on cops yesterday for screaming at people in front of a seven-eleven and refusing to cooperate, i.e. being a hooligan, but I don't see Madonna with his name on her back.

Madonna supports the Imprisoned 'hooligans'

And in the end, this is exactly what the band wanted. Their story is now global and everyone is talking about the political structure in Russia. This isn't a freedom of speech issue, so shut up you morons who are claiming that it is one. They were free to speak. I heard them, and so will millions of others. Similarly, if there are other people out there who want to speak and be heard, they know exactly how to get it done. 

And while 2 years might be a pretty severe punishment, I'm sure they were smart enough to know that a punishment was coming. They hit the jackpot with this news coverage and I'm sure it will pay off in the long run in album sales and concert tickets. Nice work, ladies.